The five strangest things I’ve eaten
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| Harbour seal: not safe from the tables in Svalbard. |
Forget such passé things as witchetty grubs, camel, crocodile, snails and chicken feet, which we’ve all eaten haven’t we? Here are five of my strangest culinary experiences.
1. Fermented shark, Iceland
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| The fermented shark is in the sealed jar in centre. To the left is fish jerky. |
This
infamous Icelandic delicacy has now even made it onto The Simpsons. It’s odd to
think how the dish could have come about. The Greenland sharks caught in these
parts are poisonous, chockablock with urea and other nasties. So some bright
spark decided that you can bury them in rocks and gravel for a few months until
most of the ammonia leaks out, then dig them up again and eat them. Yum!? I was
served my fermented shark in a glass jar with the lid firmly screwed on, and as
soon as I took it off the smell of ammonia scorched my nostrils. Beside the jar
was a shot of an almost lethal clear local spirit, and I asked whether I was
meant to dunk the pieces of shark into the alcohol before eating them. “No,”
the waitress said. “You’ll need that after eating it.”
Tasting notes: A mix of off cheese, salt and bleach.
Recommended drink: Any of Iceland's excellent beers. Or a container of bleach.
2. Sand goanna, Little Sandy Desert, WA
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| Mmmmm. Goanna. |
While men
go off hunting bustards, kangaroos, camels and wallabies, Mardu women take an
iron digging stick and almost without fail dig up a feed of sand goannas. About
as large as a rabbit, but with less meat, the bony lizards are tossed on the coals
of a small fire and turned over a few times.
Tasting notes: Like chicken. Finger-licking good.
Recommended drink: Billy tea
3. Smoked seal, Svalbard
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| Smoked seal served tastefully on sealskin. It tastes much worse than it looks. |
After an
Arctic cruise in which we oohed, aahed and clicked our cameras incessantly over
incredible Arctic wildlife, including polar bears, whales, seals, reindeer and
musk ox, our Svalbard hosts offered us both threatened narwhal and smoked
seal. The seal carcasses were hanging in the carpark as we arrived. I refused
to eat the narwhal, but thought I would try a small piece of smoked seal. Why?
Who knows. Trying to be polite? Curiosity? Either way it was a bad move, and
remains the most disgusting thing I’ve ever eaten.
Tasting notes: Repulsive blend of a gamey meat and the fishiest fish, wrapped up
with great lashings of guilt. Impossible to remove the taste for hours
afterwards.
Recommended drink: Lighter fluid, meths, diesel. Anything to take the taste away.
4. Green ants, Daintree, Qld
In primary
school, we dared each other to eat ants, letting them bite our tongues before
swallowing their acidic bodies. Theoretically with tropical green ants, you can
bite the bulbous green body off the rest of the ant, but it’s easier just to
pop the whole tangy thing in. Unfortunately I had some sort of allergic
reaction. More power to the ant.
Tasting notes: Strong, refreshing citrus, more lime than lemon or orange.
Recommended drink: Phenergan, liquid form
5. Entrée, Gilberts Restaurant, Manly Pacific, NSW
My wife’s
21st birthday stands out in memory for many reasons. It was the
night we became engaged, but it was also the night I ordered one of the
strangest dishes I’ve ever had. It was buffalo, prunes and raisins, served on
fettuccine in a chocolate sauce. For entrée. When I saw it on the menu I
thought “I have to have that – no one could put those ingredients together in a
classy restaurant unless it works.” I have no recollection of what we ordered
for mains, but this dish will be with me forever.
Tasting notes: The buffalo was rich and juicy, and the chocolate sauce was silky, not
too sweet, and quite divine really.
Recommended drink: Pinot noir
I’m not
sure what’s next on the culinary list, but I’m open to all suggestions.
@kensbigbackyard
www.kensbigbackyard.com.au
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